Those people the Wacken Open Air Festival in Germany have been told to hold off on kissing other concertgoers and sharing drinks in order to help stifle potential for a swine flu outbreak, thanks to the disease rapidly spreading in the area of Germany where the festival is happening. The local health ministry cites “circumstances of limited hygiene” at the festival—which is expected to draw 75,000 people for sets by the likes of Motörhead, Testament, and GWAR—as the main reason behind its suggestions. In honor of these poor, trapped, hygiene-deprived fans, here are five swine flu-themed songs. (They’re not metal, because not being able to split a beer with your pals is not metal, either.)
“The Swine Flu Song” – CelicaAaron
A 27-year-old Floridian offers up a swine flu-themed parody of the Jonas Brothers’ “Lovebug” that, despite being as non-metal as one can get, could actually speak to all those people at the festival who are turned to quivering masses by the organizers’ suggestion that they shouldn’t kiss any potential paramours.
“The Swine Flu Song” – Ryan Erwin
Note to this kid: If you try to go to Wacken Open Air in an attempt to show solidarity with the flu-constricted festivalgoers, you may want to go in a mask-vending guise and not as a musician.
“Swine Flu” – Apollo Andel
This, my friends, is the real death of Autotune.
“Swine Flu Song” – Stephan Zielinski
The source for this track: the sequence of the H1N1 gene. It’s nerdy, and it sounds like something that Wilderness would use as a musical bed.
“Swine Flu” – Tumor Circus
You want old-school illness credibility? Try this Jello Biafra-fronted track about the virus from 1991.
Swine flu spurs kissing ban at Wacken heavy metal festival [The Local]
W-O-A [Official site]
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