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Posts Tagged ‘Funny’

Bingo Jokes

Q: How do you play Taliban Bingo?
A: B-52, F-15, B-1…

———–

Q: How many bingo jokes does it take to distract a guy with just one block missing?
A: Well, you can try that one joke where all you have to do is shout “BINGO” in his ear…

———–

Q: What is that one thing that blonds are always waiting for in a bingo game?
A: “FREE SPACE”

———–

A the psychology university the teacher that just finished a long lecture about mental health wanted to do a quick oral quiz for the students. The course was about the manic depression so the question of the teacher was: What diagnose would you give to a person that sits quietly and minds his own business calmly and after that all of a sudden it start swearing the next minute all over the place?

The answer coming from a young student that just raised her hand was: “Bingo Player”.
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Russian man beats a bank at its own game

35c1b8ef416e91e60809c46117094c4e Russian man beats a bank at its own gameA Russian man who decided to write his own small print in a credit card contract has had his changes upheld in court. He’s now suing the country’s leading online bank for more than 24 million rubles ($727,000) in compensation.

Disappointed by the terms of the unsolicited offer for a credit card from Tinkoff Credit Systems in 2008, a 42-year-old Dmitry Agarkov from the city of Voronezh decided to hand write his own credits terms.

The trick was that Agarkov simply scanned the bank’s document and ‘amended’ the small print with his own terms.

He opted for a 0 percent interest rate and no fees, adding that the customer “is not obliged to pay any fees and charges imposed by bank tariffs.” The bank, however, didn’t read ‘the amendments’, as it signed and certified the document, as well as sent the man a credit card. Under the agreement, the bank OK’d to provide unlimited credit, according to Agarkov’s lawyer Dmitry Mikhalevich talking to Kommersant daily.

“The opened credit line was unlimited. He could afford to buy an island somewhere in Malaysia, and the bank would have to pay for it by law,” Mikhalevich added.

Agarkov also changed the URL of the site where the terms and conditions were published and hedged against the bank’s breaking of the agreement. For each unilateral change in the terms provided in the agreement, the bank would be asked to pay the customer (Agarkov) 3 million rubles ($91,000), or a cancelation fee of 6 million rubles ($182,000).

However, after two years of active use, the bank decided to terminate Agarkov’s credit card  because of overdue payments. In 2012, the bank sued Agarkov for 45,000 rubles ($1,363) – an amount that included the remaining balance, fees, and late payment charges, which violated the actual agreement. The court decided that the agreement Agarkov crafted was valid, and required him to settle only his balance of 19,000 rubles ($575).
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Teacher Wears Same Outfit to Picture Day for 40 Years

09ea8b611b6ca740d0b2aebaaace54f8 Teacher Wears Same Outfit to Picture Day for 40 YearsAfter a good long career in education, Dale Irby has retired. And so have his groovy shirt and sweater vest.

In every school picture for the past 40 years, Dale wore the same 1970s-era polyester shirt and coffee-colored sweater.

And let me just say he aged a whole lot better than his clothes did.

It began as an accident — a product of his sparse wardrobe back in the day.

“I was so embarrassed when I got the school pictures back that second year and realized I had worn the very same thing as the first year,” said Dale, 63.

But his wife, Cathy, dared him to do it a third year. Then Dale thought five would be funny. “After five pictures,” he said, “it was like: ‘Why stop?’”
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Two-headed turtle at San Antonio Zoo

04ebde72b1d406f500cb79b0cd4f2445 Two headed turtle at San Antonio Zoo

A two-headed turtle has hatched at the San Antonio Zoo and officials have named her Thelma and Louise.

The female Texas cooter arrived June 18 and will go on display Thursday at the zoo’s Friedrich Aquarium.
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Saudi prince sues Forbes for underestimating his wealth

f933683e9a371952035e605716a50a39 Saudi prince sues Forbes for underestimating his wealthPrince Alwaleed bin Talal, who owns London’s Savoy hotel, claims US publication undervalued his wealth by $9.6bn

Saudi Arabia’s Prince Alwaleed bin Talal, one of the world’s wealthiest businessmen who owns assets including London’s Savoy hotel, has launched a libel action against the business magazine Forbes over claims it underestimated his fortune by $9.6bn.

Alwaleed, who is often described as the most influential businessman in the Middle East, vowed to sever ties with Forbes in March when its coveted annual Rich List valued him at $20bn – placing him as the 26th most wealthy billionaire on the planet.

The prince insisted he was worth closer to $30bn and accused the respected US magazine of being “demonstrably biased” against Saudi Arabian firms.
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“Bang With Friends” Banned from App Store

294bf689de5db0866a984f1111c2262e “Bang With Friends” Banned from App Store Bang With Friends debuted in January and quickly took off in popularity. The concept is simple: Users log in with Facebook and select what friends they want to bang. Only friends that have mutually selected the other user show-up in a “down to bang” queue.

The app claims more than 1 million users, even though it’s not without its share of controversy. In addition to questions about creepy factor, the anonymity of users has come into question. Earlier this month, it became possible to find out if some of your friends had signed-up for the service on Facebook. A mobile version for iOS and Android debuted last week.

While the Android version is still available, iPhone users are directed to this page, which promises that the app will be back “soon.”

While Apple is certainly no stranger for kicking apps out of the store that seem to violate various rules on nudity, pornography and sexuality — whether deserved or not — I don’t think the substance of the app is necessarily the problem. Grindr has had an iPhone app for years and it’s not substantively different from BWF, aside from the direct Facebook connection. Likewise, Ashley Madison, a service that encourages infidelity between spouses, has an iPhone app and it even features a “nearby” feature for better geolocation targeting.

Sure, BWF is crass and frat-tastic, but is it really ban worthy? Would you like to use the app ?

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Chinese husband sues wife for being ugly, wins $120,000

Northern Chinese resident Jian Feng divorced and sued his wife for $120,000 and won! The story goes that Mr. Feng was deeply in love with his beautiful wife until they had a baby girl.

Feng was horrified at how ugly the baby was and demanded to know who his wife had cheated on him with because the baby resembled neither of the parents

c53b6f17680e8020844d42a0b2049927 Chinese husband sues wife for being ugly, wins $120,000As it turns out, his wife didn’t cheat, but did gloss over the fact that she had spent $100,000 on intense plastic surgery to severely change how she looked before she met him. It’s the kind of thing that can slip your mind on the first date. After his wife revealed this to him, Feng took the only right-minded course of action and divorced and sued her, claiming that she got him to marry her under false pretences. The false pretence presumably being that she was good looking. Incredibly, the (presumably male) judge sympathised with Feng and he won $120,000 in the case.

He won the amount he requested, $120,000 while his now divorced wife had spent $100,000 on extensive plastic surgeries by apparently very gifted South Korean surgeons.

Source: Daily Mail

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Welcome to Russia!

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyE30MQlrj0

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2202e3ee50bf183db978da30ea7cc96b Got Fleas?

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