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PHOTOS: Our “Fantasy” Football Draft

February 6th, 2010 weldamfm

PHOTO via Getty Name: Ruben StuddardPosition: Offensive lineWhy?: A high school football star, Ruben won a scholarship to Alabama A&M University before going on to win American Idol. With him protecting the QB, our offense will be ‘flying without wings’.
PHOTO via GettyName: Jay-Z Postion: QuarterbackWhy?: Sure, he’s 40. But so is Brett Favre, who came out of his second retirement this season to lead the Minnesota Vikings to within one game of the Super Bowl. Hova has the experience to lead, and if you’ve ever seen him freestyle, you know this is a man who’s quick on his feet.
PHOTO via Getty Name: Kanye WestPosition: Wide receiverWhy?: Kanye’s not the tallest guy around, but what he lacks in height he makes up for in ambition. Who wants to win more? He’d make a fine receiver, but then, again, just imagine how catching a touchdown pass would go to his head.
PHOTO via GettyName: PinkPosition: Wide receiver Why?: Pink’s tough enough to shove off defenders from the opposing team — and if you saw her eye-popping performance of “Glitter In The Air” on the Grammy’s, you know she’s fully capable of making those acrobatic diving catches.
PHOTO via GettyName: FergiePosition: Tight endWhy?: Fergie’s fairly versatile too, managing to handle both the Black Eyed Peas and the loungy pop of “Quando Quando Quando” in Nine. Oh who are we kidding? We’re just giving her a job to get our hands on the Miami Dolphins’ trade secrets.
PHOTO via GettyName: Timbaland Postion: Offensive LineWhy?: Since Timbaland got serious about working out roughly five years ago, he’s transformed himself into a weight but packed on serious muscle. Now the Grammy-winning producer is ready to play.
PHOTO via GettyName: Justin BieberPosition: KickerWhy?: C’mon, you know the kicker is always the shortest guy on the team. But you know Bieber would come through in a pinch.
PHOTO via GettyName: UsherPosition: Running backWhy?: Usher Raymond may be coming through a rough ride in his personal life, but he’s still the smoothest dancer around, which would make him ideal for juking and jiving down the field. Look out – Daddy’s Home.
PHOTO via GettyName: Miley CyrusPostion: Running backWhy?: We’re putting her on the team so she’ll sing “The Climb” during team workouts.
PHOTO via GettyName: Christina AguileraPosition: Tight end Why?: For a position that requires versatility, we can’t think of anyone better than X-Tina, who’s taken inspiration from 40’s big-band music to 90’s hip-hop and 00’s electronic beats. Plus, we’d like to have her around to sing the national anthem. Every game.
PHOTO via GettyName: Cory MonteithPosition: Offensive lineWhy?: Finn Hudson plays quarterback for fictional McKinley high school on Glee, in addition to showing off his golden pipes in the school glee club. He’s not a big enough star to call the plays for our team, but he’s big enough to block and tackle.

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