People unveiled a sampling of its Top Sexiest Men Alive today (led by Johnny Depp, sooo boring a choice—what, were Brad Pitt and George Clooney busy?) and a few pop stars made the list. But they aren’t exactly who we would’ve selected:
John Legend (should have been Robin Thicke)
No offense to Mr. Legend, who is as cute as a cuddly button, but we’re still drooling over Robin’s “Sex Therapy” video. When Legend makes a music video that incorporates chocolate with groping models and using their legs as a frame, we’ll reconsider.
Chris Daughtry (should have been John Mayer)
It’s not that we don’t think Chris is pulling off the bald thing, we just think there are tons more relevant guitarists/singers out there who don’t resemble Popeye. Let’s pick a guy with too much hair—John Mayer, whose best asset is making his antics known , whether its releasing new music, like Battle Studies, Tweeting his brain off, or stepping out with every last Hollywood starlet. Even when he makes an ass of himself, he looks good while doing it.
Adam Lambert (should have been Kris Allen)
Adam’s on every frigging list this year, so People isn’t really thinking out of the box by including his eyeshadow-adoring face. Fierce as he is, we’re going with Kris Allen, mostly because he still manages to be super-adorable without relying on outrageous outfits or snake accessories.
Nick Cannon (should have been Drake)
He’s sexy in theory, but Nick’s married to Mariah Carey and the host of America’s Got Talent. Those two things alone subtract the allure. Let’s exchange him for Drake, who’s one of the biggest breakout stars this year, is hot enough to warrant rumors that he’s dating Rihanna and have people actually believe it, and hasn’t hosted any reality show competitions that could possibly sully his near-perfect image.
The Men of Glee (should have been The Men of Cobra Starship)
What, no wheelchair guy or token gay kid? Only the straight dudes with the ability to walk can get called sexy? Not cool, People. We’re trading out this trio with a group just as campy—the dudes of cheese-pop band Cobra Starship (Gabe Saporta, Ryland Blackinton, Alex Suarez and Nate Novarro). They’re as silly as the Glee guys, plus we wouldn’t be surprised if any one of them was a proud member of a show choir in high school.
Are we way off track, folks, or should we contact People and demand they revise their list? Leave your own sexy suggestions in the comments.
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