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One Direction Are Recording A New Album, Due Out By Christmas

The boys of One Direction, a band comprised of five Madame Tussauds wax statues with impeccable coifs and the dulcet voices of a hundred singing unicorns, have no plans to rest on their laurels and take some time off to enjoy being young and rich and good-looking. Oh no! That’s not happening. It’s back to the coal mines for them (i.e., the recording studio), even as they promote their 3D concert film This Is Us and continue touring the globe, making teenagers scream and faint and live while they’re young.

Yes, band member Louis Tomlinson told The Daily Star that 1D have already begun work on their third album: “We’ve already started recording the album, we started about a month ago,” he said. “We’ve been writing and recording it while on tour. We are really happy with it. We don’t want to rush it but it will be out for Christmas.”

Reportedly, all five members have been writing for the new LP, working collaboratively in pairs, then recording vocals in portable studios while on tour. “We have the film coming out as well so we are all pretty shattered but we are all having a great time,” Louis said, slumped over his fifth espresso of the day, his slackened body betraying a familiar fatigue, that weary desperation in his eyes, a lingering question left unspoken: Can you free me from these cruel shackles? Can I be a real boy again? (Okay, we made that last part up.)

An anonymous source close to the band (Simon Cowell, is that you?) also said that recording the new album now was a strategic decision: “There was talk about the boys taking some time off before the next album but it was decided to release the record while they are so popular. The band are going from strength to strength so it would be silly not to have an album out in time for the profitable Christmas market.”

It’s a Yuletide miracle.

[via The Daily Star]

 

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