Why can’t Miley Cyrus touch a computer without triggering bizarre events? While helping promote suicide prevention organization To Write Love On Her Arms, she somehow managed to unearth a seemingly sober, clean shaven Joaquin Phoenix in order to each him how to use the Internet. Really. Be prepared to watch the weirdest clip you’ll see today, which still is nowhere near as odd as some extremely bold statements made about Joaquin’s musical abilities:
When Miley and Joaquin’s conversation turns to Lady Gaga (as all conversations inevitably do), Joaquin badly feigns ignorance of the eccentric pop star. (Then again, he may have been literally living under a rock for the past few months and has an excuse for not knowing.) This, of course, prompts Miley to refresh his memory by doing the “Bad Romance” dance. We could not make this up. (If we did, we would obviously have Lady Gaga appear and do her own damn dance herself.) Bonus strangeness! Joaquin’s ex Liv Tyler shows up, just to up the oddity of it all.
(Miley enters at 1:38, in leopard print pants, like you expected her to wear anything else.)
This is the first we’ve seen of the Oscar-nominated star for months; he’s been relatively MIA after saying “Bye! Good” to acting in order to transition to hip-hop (or performance art, if you’re still not convinced his Letterman appearance or rap gigs were for real).
Getting the reclusive star to shave, shower and come back to life wasn’t all Miley’s doing: Joaquin first got involved with To Write Love On Her Arms when he directed the music video for the She Wants Revenge song “Tear You Apart.” TWLOHA founder Jamie Tworkowski explains that he was invited to the set by the band, and he became inspired by scribblings “written in magic marker on [Joaquin's] arms. It struck me as strange and unusual and no one else had that. And yet it was bold and it stayed with me.”
The non-profit organization is involved in a contest to win one million dollars from Chase Community Giving, and with the help of this clip and the one Cyrus previously posted, they’re definitely getting the most publicity out of all the entrants. (Vote here.)
So what the hell has Joaquin been doing during his Hollywood hibernation? E! Online has found somebody who claims they have heard some of the tracks he’s recorded, and if these quotes are to be believed, Joaquin Phoenix is the second coming of John Lennon:
“He’s a Beatles, Oasis, Bowie-style songwriter. I hold it in that high esteem,” L.A. musician Julian Shah-Taylor, who collaborated on the album with Phoenix, exclusively tells E! News.
“He’s accomplished just about everything anyone could accomplish as an artist,” Shah-Taylor continued, hypothesizing why Phoenix’s musical artistry may remain long lost. “So coming out with a brilliant album of great music would not surprise anybody, and I think that’s maybe why he didn’t release it…And I think it’s better to have some secrets, and I think Joaquin’s secret is his prodigious music talent.”
Uh huh. His music is so brilliant, he just couldn’t bear to let our mortal ears hear it. And “Bowie-style songwriter”? What happened to hip-hop and rap? We’re more confused than ever.
If we ever get to hear the fruits of Joaquin’s labor in the studio, we at least know it can’t be worse than Miley’s rapping abilities.
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