Almost Alice, the made-for-Hot-Topic compilation of music inspired by Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, is destined to be one of the hit soundtracks of 2010—at least until Eclipse is released. The first single from the soundtrack, 3OH!3’s “Follow Me Down,” has surfaced, and if you thought the lyric “Hush girl, shush your lips, do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips” was atrocious, hold on tight to your (mad) hats, cause the Denver duo has managed to outdo themselves. Listen to the track after the jump.
3OH!3 feat. Neon Hitch – “Follow Me Down”
The track features up-and-coming British female singer Neon Hitch (who, apparently, is so new to the game she doesn’t even have her own Wikipedia page yet). Neon has a cutesy, baby-sounding voice, and she offsets Sean Foreman’s obnoxious vocals. At least Foreman & Co. come up with a half-decent beat for the hook—but it’s still not enough to forgive the truly awful lyrics.
“Gentlemen and ladies, animals and babies, we sing, we sing, nya nya nya nya” followed by “Follow me, follow me, fa-la-la-la-la-la” are literally the best rhymes the band could come up with.
Did it take them more than five seconds to write the lyrics to this song, or did they just ad-lib while already in the studio? Surely there must have been something from Alice in Wonderland—a character, a song, a theme—that they could’ve been inspired by instead of resorting to baby talk? Outside of the inane lyrics, the song really boils down to Neon Hitch’s cooing, which—if we’re forced to pick under penalty of beheading—is preferable to one more second of Foreman’s insufferable rhyming. “Baby, baby, here we are all crazy,” he sings. All crazy, indeed.
We’re holding out hope that Avril Lavigne came up with something less juvenile for her single “Alice (Underground),” which drops in the next few weeks. Then again, this is the girl whose last hit declared, “Hey, hey, you, you, I don’t like your girlfriend.” Will anyone on this soundtrack be able to elevate it from elementary school playground themes?
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