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Ke$ha’s ‘My Crazy Beautiful Life’: Watch Her Make Out With A Guy Named Tarzan In Brazil

Ke$ha‘s tour is ending, but her libido has been raging since she said goodbye to Baby Spoon. And if you haven’t been watching the show, I love imagining you reading that sentence with absolutely no context whatsoever. This the fourth episode in the singer’s six-part MTV series, My Crazy Beautiful Life, documenting the two years Ke$ha spent on her first world tour. And it’s a good thing it was well documented, because it doesn’t look like her next tour is going to have nearly the same panache.

The opening montage reminds us that she was over the moon after her positive review from the L.A. Times. Now, Ke$ha and her gang mentally prepare for her last show. She hikes in a bikini, overlooking scenic Phoenix, Arizona. Ah, look at all those golf courses, cacti and gas stations. Truly breathtaking.

Ke$ha’s already waxing nostalgic over her two years spent on the road now that it’s coming to a close. She remembers giving her guitarist, Max, a haircut while drunk on the ride home the night before. A mullet, to be specific. Just before soundcheck, Ke$ha and her manager have a serious chat, where the 24-year-old gets reminded that she has many people whose livelihoods are dependent on her creative output. During Ke$ha’s soundcheck, her mother, Pebe, wanders the stage, taking photos of her “tour family.”

Moments before the show, Ke$ha is messing around with a tattoo gun. This can’t be good news for Max. Pebe attempts weakly to discourage Ke$ha, saying that she doesn’t believe it’s legal. Ke$ha had better pay this guy enough for this nonsense. Both Ke$ha and her mother are covered in glitter. In fact, you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone on stage not covered in a thin, shiny sheen of glitter. Their lungs will surely have to have to be vacuumed out later.

Backstage, Pebe is wearing a penis costume. Now, I’m the one crying foul, wondering whether or not it’s legal to put your mother in a penis costume. Ke$ha invites her entire crew on stage at the end of the show to take an all-inclusive group picture. After the gig, Ke$ha is breathless on the couch. Pebe admits to peeing in the penis suit. I hope they burn that thing.

At dinner, Ke$ha gets a penis shaped blintz, which the pop star gobbles up ferociously and then “baby birds” into the mouths of various crew members. Ke$ha gets up for a brief, drunken emotional toast. Pebe gets teared-up while thanking the crew for their hard work. Despite the food fight, it’s quite touching.

Ke$ha’s voiceover tells us that she’s now thinking of her next step. Her plan is to travel the world to “spend some time with animals.” I genuinely think she means her fans at first, but apparently she means real animals. She’s also already stressing over the prospect of writing songs for her next album. A friend (I think) tells her, “You’ll be so inspired. Maybe you’ll get laid.” To this, Ke$ha replies, “By what, a turtle?”

However, before Ke$ha can have sex with any kind of creature, she gets invited to play a big rock and roll festival. This is her final gig before she can officially kick off her vacay. So, she jumps on a plane to Brazil. Before the show, she manages to have a little bit of fun, hangliding and beard-watching. In fact, she spots a hot guy in a kayak floating past. He paddles back to her boat. He straight-up looks like Tarzan, and Ke$ha’s people have managed to arrange for him to attend her show.

The possibility of getting laid by a gorgeous Brazilian man must have energized Ke$ha, who has a blast on stage. After the show, she pours a bottle of water on her head and looks pooped. She admits that she’s become a famous person who complains about being tired all the time.

Ke$ha perks up when she sees Tarzan after the show. He doesn’t speak English, to which she replies, “Perfect.” No kidding. At a club, Ke$ha makes out with Tarzan (whose real name is Philippe) while the rest of her gang dances around her. She couldn’t be happier.

Next week on Ke$ha’s My Crazy Beautiful Life, the singer finally makes it to her vacation. She goes to Galapagos, South Africa, where she rehabs baby lions and swims with sharks and whales. The experience prompts her to write. In the car, she tells her brother she’s decided on the title for her album, Warrior.

 

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