After tonight, we’ll be at the halfway point of Ke$ha‘s documentary reality show on MTV, My Crazy Beautiful Life. This six-part series, with the pop star’s brother behind the lens, documents the singer’s first world tour in 2011. Nothing is off limits, including Ke$ha’s love life or lack thereof.
Last time on My Crazy Beautiful Life, Ke$ha found herself a bearded man to have sex with. This episode picks up with her tour bus cruising through Texas in August 2011. We’re treated to a montage of Ke$ha being cutesy with her tour boyfriend, a tall roadie with a beard and whom she has affectionately nicknamed “Baby Spoon,” in reference to his snuggling preferences. Sadly, for Ke$ha, the “show must go on,” because while his leg of the tour has come to an end, she is far from finished. This can only mean one thing. Ke$ha is back on the market. Look out Vegas!
To cheer her up, Ke$ha’s remaining crew and friends watch videos of the tour thus far and embarrass the singer. I was just about to say that she always looks drunk in the videos until she woozily shows her “stolen bottle of Stoli” to the camera. She does goofy robot dances on the roof of her hotel and I am happy and surprised to see she didn’t somehow fall off at some point. After that first cartwheel, I would never let this woman remotely near a ledge, sober or otherwise.
Cut to the lights of Las Vegas, where a gang of friends joins a newly single Ke$ha for some partying. Ke$ha’s complimenting her friend Savannah on her new corn rows when someone accidentally breaks a bunch of glass at a bar. They’re off to an auspicious start. Next thing you know, Ke$ha’s being dragged to the red carpet for pictures and to answer questions. She tells press that the first time she ever brushed her teeth “with a bottle of Jack” was in Vegas.
“Now, it’s time to get weird with my friends!” Ke$ha announces before partying like a rock star until the sun comes up. “We want tattoos now!” she yells to the driver before making out with someone who looks a little too much like Charles Manson for my liking. She stumbles into the tour bus and still has to perform later. I’m experiencing a sympathy headache at the thought.
The pace of the tour is incredible, but Ke$ha manages to be energetic and attentive to her little animals. She says, “They’re like a cult of rowdy misfits.” In Milwaukee, one fan has a portrait of her face tattooed on his back. A creepy, self-confessed “dinosaur” with a beard and long hair declares Ke$ha to be the best thing he’s ever seen. She watches him gush about her on footage before the show and seems amused. He gets pulled to the stage to be “abused” by Ke$ha during the show and positively looks like glitter might explode from his pants during a crucial moment.
At the show in Philadelphia, Ke$ha is on stage with a ton of fake blood dripping down her face for the close of “Cannibal.” She rushes backstage and I’m impressed by how quickly she’s able to remove fake blood (less than two minutes). She’s running late, but the audience just gets even more nuts as they stop the track to wait for Ke$ha. When she jumps through a sign, an animal hat on her head, and everything looks fine from my vantage point.
However, after the timing SNAFU, Ke$ha is a deflated balloon. Her manager tries to console her as she sits motionless in her chair backstage after the show. “Mistakes at my show never go unnoticed,” she says in the voiceover. Ke$ha looks like she’s going to just pass out. Meanwhile, I just want to give her a hug.
Next thing you know, Perez Hilton is bitching about Ke$ha, telling us he’s over her. Ugh. I’m sure the feeling is mutual. She’s jogging to clear her head and I wish I could punch him in the face for her. He really is such an ass, with his telephone button sweatshirt. Dress your age. At least she’s in her 20s and a bonafide pop star.
Back in Los Angeles, Ke$ha is rehearsing her cheetah-print butt off to make sure the show goes perfectly. Chatting with the sound guys, Ke$ha mishears “horn” for “porn.” Classic Ke$h.
The singer’s mom, Pebe, shows up with family photos on Mother’s Day and it’s revealed that she doesn’t know exactly who her father is. We learn more about Mom’s songwriting career and get treated to some vintage Ke$ha on VHS recordings singing and giggling as a baby. Ke$ha says she and Pebe co-wrote “Your Love Is My Drug,” crediting her mother’s musical influence and talent for much of her current success.
On stage, Ke$ha yodels the final notes of her L.A. show and she leaps off stage to make sure she hits her cue. This time, she leaps triumphantly through the sign and straight into the choreography or the first notes of “Your Love Is My Drug.” Mom looks proud and Ke$ha’s animals go wild. The next day, the L.A. Times review gives both Pebe and Ke$ha serious props. Mom cries and they hug. It’s so cute. Happy Mother’s Day, Pebe!
Next week, the tour is wrapping up, but shit is still crazy with hang gliding, tattoos, phallic imagery and Ke$ha planning her next record!
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