Rihanna is kicking the holidays off early this year by contributing a track, “A Child Is Born”, to Now That’s What I Call Christmas 4. We previously called the 35-second preview a stocking stuffer — but the full-length studio recording is a total reggae-infused lump of coal. Listen to the tune below — although you might need to pull your Santa hat over your ears.

Rihanna – A Child Is Born

This song is way too nice, and not nearly naughty enough. This is performed by the same woman with multiple gun tattoos and who once got busy with a robot live on stage? Plus, Rihanna’s singing range has never been all that impressive, but her vocals are especially weak on this treacly ballad.

Perhaps the citizens of countries who celebrate Christmas in warmer climates might take a liking to this yuletide-themed Island jam more than we are.

Mariah Carey – show her how it’s done!

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