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Beyonce’s New Album Due For November Release, Admits Beyonce Begrudgingly

d57857353a294ff6d6db3b2b02911f84 Beyonce’s New Album Due For November Release, Admits Beyonce Begrudgingly

Want a new Beyonce album? Sorry, suckers! King Bey is done with the album game. It’s all about sixty-second snippets, random commercials and guest features on other artists’ songs. Beyonce’s not playing by your rules. What, you want to buy something on iTunes? Lend commercial support to your favorite diva? Not gonna happen. Beyonce doesn’t care about what you want. She’s Beyonce. She doesn’t have to.

So! What happens when an overzealous fan actually manages to pin down the “Grown Woman” chanteuse and ask her the question on everyone’s mind? As Digital Spy reports, a Norwegian fan wrote in her blog that she went backstage for a special meet-and-greet after her Oslo show, where she had the audacity to ask that all-important question: ”Everything went so fast that I could only say that I love [new song] ‘Grown Woman’ and ask her when her album is coming,” she wrote.

The fan continued: “‘In November’ was her answer before her gaze drifted to the next fan. Got a faint feeling that she disliked the question.”

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

So, first of all, this has been translated from Norwegian (and it’s all just hearsay, not confirmed), so take the very specific syntax and word choice used here with a grain of salt, but seriously, has there ever been a more Beyonce description of Beyonce than this quote? The hilarious visual of Beyonce, radiating apathy, her gaze drifting to the next fan. All those fans, lined up just for a glimpse of her, as she eyes each one of them with a wary contempt. Plebeians, she thinks to herself, stifling a gust of haughty laughter.

And then: “Got a faint feeling that she disliked the question.” Well, of course she did, Norwegian fan! You actually had the balls to ask Beyonce this totally reasonable thing, which is when she is finally going to stop torturing her loyal fans and actually give them new music! Surely that’s not something she’s going to like. She’s not going to be excited about being implicitly called out for this wheezing lurch of a comeback, all these false starts and disappointments. She’s not going to spit on you or punch you in the neck (even though she probably wants to), but she’ll absolutely communicate — faintly and politely — that she dislikes the question. And you, Norwegian fan. She dislikes you, too.

In short: Beyonce’s new album is coming in November; also, she hates you.

[via Digital Spy]

 

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