Each one of the remaining top 13 American Idol contestants sang their hearts out on Wednesday night, and Thursday it was their time of reckoning. After tabulating the 71 million votes, the show boots one unfortunate soul from the group, meaning that that he or she has to say goodbye to their journey to pop stardom. At least as far as Idol is concerned.
The results episode opens with a group performance of OneRepubic‘s “Counting Stars,” which segues into
Imagine Dragons‘ “Radioactive.” I have to say, they all sound quite nice as a group and look lovely, dressed in angelic white.
I spy Dexter Roberts’ mom in the audience with her fabulous wig! Three cheers for her lovely locks!
I know I say this every recap, but once again, judge Jennifer Lopez is gorgeous. I feel like her closets at home must just be blinding from all the perfect, sparkling mini dresses she owns in every metallic shade known to man. Remaining judges Harry Connick Jr. and Keith Urban are also present and accounted for.
We, the viewing audience, get a brief summation of the contestants’ performances. For those of you who missed it, don’t fret, because I also recapped it all. And it was spectacular!
Idol shows some behind-the-scenes with the contestants in the limo, on the way to dinner and then at the restaurant. Hearing them chatter so excitedly reminds me that they’re all babies. My math might be off, but I’m fairly confident I could have been a teen mom to any one of these children. They are so young and brag about their celebrity tweets, which is quite cute. They raise a glass to being friends forever — that is, until they day they realize they didn’t come here to make friends.
Back at the stage, host Ryan Seacrest, reveals the three uncomfortable-looking seats where the bottom three contestants will sit until the end of the show. From the look on the kids’ faces, they might as well be three electric chairs in a maximum security prison.
The first contestants called to the stage are Malaya Watson, Jena Irene, Ben Briley and Alex Prescott. We get former judge and current mentor, Randy Jackson‘s appraisal of how the contestants did in rehearsal before Wednesday night’s show. Ben finds out he’s safe first. Alex gets the news next. Jena finds out she’s safe and then my beloved band nerd, Malaya Watson, finds out she is the first of the bottom three.
After commercial break, we return to see a performance from none other than last season’s winner, Candice Glover, who sings two songs off her recently-released R&B album. For her first selection, “Cried,” she gets a Tyra Banks-style montage of giant portraits behind her from the music video. It’s a bit much, but she does sound and look amazing. That woman can sing the crap out of a breakup song. She finishes her mini-medley with “Same Kinda Man.”
The judges each get bombarded with those dumb “five things you didn’t know about me” questions, and still I can’t bring myself to care.
Back to results. MK Nobilette, Sam Woolf, Majesty Rose and Dexter Roberts are the next to face the music. Dexter is safe, as is the delightful Majesty Rose. However, I want to toss my remote at the screen when I find out that MK is in the bottom three. To America, I say in the spirit of Gob Bluth, “Come on!” It’s a small consolation that sweet-faced Sam gets to stay because I’m so bummed to see two of my favorite ladies in the bottom three, when MK takes her seat next to Malaya.
During old-timey footage from way back when, i.e. back in ye olden audition times, Keith mentioned a young singer to watch named Jake Bugg. Well, Keith is excited to announce that Jake is a guest performer for the evening, singing his song “Me And You.” He looks and sounds very hip and cool, coming off like some long, lost baby Gallagher brother from Oasis.
Jennifer does some of the finest acting of her life when she pretends to be surprised for her “five things” interview. Along with her role in Out Of Sight, It’s probably most memorable performance to date. I also love that she’s always chewing gum. In a faux twist, Harry puts the camera on Ryan for his five things and my brain switches to screensaver briefly.
C.J Harris, Kristen O’Connor, Jessica Meuse, Emily Piriz and Caleb Johnson are beckoned to hear their results. Ryan announces that Kristen is the last of the bottom three and so the rest join the other safe contestants. Malaya’s reaction to hearing that she’s going to have to wait for another commercial break is just too endearing. I totally feel her anxiety.
When we return: Yay! MK is safe! Whew! And then, my heart swells when I hear that Malaya is also staying and Kristen is going home, unless the judges decide to use their save. Her selection is “Turning Tables” by Adele. It’s rather sweet that she sings with Malaya’s lipstick on her cheek.
After much deliberation, the judges decided not to save her, so she says goodbye to Idol. JLo then sheds the most beautiful of tears. To this, Kristen says (in her mind, I like to imagine) don’t cry for me, Jennifer Lopez.
And then there were twelve. Join me next week to enjoy the ride all over again!
Get an eyeful of even more pop music coverage, from artist interviews to exclusive performances, on Idolator’s YouTube channel.
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